Come home from work after being at the doctors all afternoon w/Elora to the biggest bowl of chicken soup in the fridge that Dyl made last night and saved for me tonight. Popped some cold and flu tablets, snuggled up in a blanket on the lounge with the cat and eating soup. Hopefully I’m better for work tomorrow.
Went to Gloucester over the weekend with Dylan to see Mum and my little step brothers and sisters. We went to the pub and got meal then crashed out in the spare bedroom. Gloucester is such a different part of the world compared to Newcastle. It’s always refreshing to go up there and it’s so good to see how well Dyl gets along with my family.
It must be a sign of adulthood that I am all stoked that I have four days off work because I can bleach my bathroom! I’ve spent like four hours cleaning the house and haven’t even started my room yet. I had to do all the washing up in a bucket though because our pipes are fucked again and the landlord hasn’t replied to my texts. Ugh. Bleaching my bathroom ruled though and it’s so white!
Slowly but surely making progress. Six months ago I struggled to hold my own body weight on a pole and hold myself up.
Whenever I have a shit day at work I just have to go to pole and the world is a better nicer place again.
2nd runner up!! With @misscherrybutton who came runner up and @chelsea_evanss who won! And of course the lovely @thecherrydollface ♡♡
Congratulations to these three lovely ladies who placed tonight! ❤️
Teaser from my shoot with Lauren Horwood Photography!
Photography: Lauren Horwood Photogtaphy.
Clothing: Westward Bound latex girlfriend. Leg Avenue bra.
I think one of the most hard hitting quotes I ever have read about relationships was some stupid thing that popped up on my Facebook feed. It was basically one person reminding another person to just think about the fact that the person he/she is with could also have their choice of other people more attractive, rich, funnier etc but they ending up picking he/she.This is really poorly worded but it’s leading to something, I promise.
I am so fucking lucky to have Dylan. I look at the relationship I was in previously to the one I am in now and I can’t believe it. He is proud of me for the smallest things, whether it’s meeting my monthly target at work or learning a new move at pole. On the weekend when I shot in my backyard he stood there having a beer with the photographers boyfriend and helped out despite the fact I know he was a little annoyed I had a shoot on his birthday. He is the most selfless, gentle and loving person I know. He spoils me non-stop. I cannot fathom what I have done to deserve someone like him in my life. He and Elora have pushed me so hard to get back into shooting and back into pin-up, and although I am not naive enough to think I will ever be famous, I feel like myself again. I was so lucky to meet Dylan in town again after never really speaking but knowing of each others presence. I am so blessed to wake up next to him every day and privileged to be his girlfriend.
I made the mistake once of thinking I deserved more than what I had, and I broke someones heart over thinking that and I still remember having him cry on the phone, ‘But I love you so much.’ I hate myself so fucking much for it and I will never forgive myself for what I did. What a fucking stupid and hurtful human being I was. I learnt my lesson the hard way over eighteen months. I didn’t deserve more than what I had, in fact the person I was with deserved more than what they had. I wasn’t worth their affections, nor their love and I guess three years on it’s taken a lot for me to put aside my pride, my ‘internet persona’ and my ego and admit that. I will always remember there are a thousand other people in the world who are smarter, richer, prettier, funnier and better than I am, but I am lucky that this one person has chosen me.
Today we went to the Kurri Kurri Nostalgia Festival! Hungover and in the sun we didn’t last very long but I met Cherry Dollface and saw heaps of people I knew. Not my best of days but still lovely to share with my friends.